It's Kind of a Long Story... about LLOYD COLE (Part I)

Cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin

Hey Drama Goblins,

I’m in kind of a weird space these days. The stories and feelings that were screaming to get up and out of me aren’t as urgent. There are other areas of my life that seem to have… plateaued for want of a better term.

It’s possible that I got so used to living in chaos with a hyped-up nervous system, that going several months without a major plot twist in my life feels… dull. I’m not gonna go lookin’ for trouble, but I hate to think I don’t know how to live life without it.

I’m hopeful that as with all things, this too shall pass.

The story below is a version of one I’ve told on Facebook, so if it’s familiar, I beg your patience and indulgence. You probably haven’t heard Part II.

I’m so glad you’re here,

Lara

A Girl Needs a Gun These Days…

Short Story

I bought myself hand-written lyrics from a favorite 80s artist. I wasn’t sure what I would get, and what I got was wonderful.

Long Story

As you’ve probably been able to tell from my “80s Deep Cut of the Week.” I’m super into the music of my teenage years. Years when music really mattered to me.

There are a few albums that I listened to over and over again. Among them, Lloyd Cole’s first two albums, Easy Pieces and Rattlesnakes.

As with many of the favorite performers of my teen years, his music is both a consistent companion, and has receded into the background. Something I think of a lot, and hardly think about at all. Snippets of lyrics from his songs are frequent ear worms:

“Read Norman Mailer, or get a new tailor”

“She’s got cheekbones like geometry and eyes like sin”

“Lookin’ like a born again, and feelin’ like a heretic.”

“C-A is where everybody falls, down off the wagon under the wheels.”

“Double pneumonia in a single room”

But, I hadn’t kept up on his career. I’ve listened to a few of the albums from the 90s and 2000’s, and had tickets to see him at the Swedish American Hall a few years ago, but wasn’t able to go.

Around my birthday in 2022, his Facebook page randomly popped up, and I caught up on what he’d been up to for the last few decades.

Like so many mid-level musicians in the age of streaming, he makes most of his income touring and performing live, which he wasn’t able to do during the Pandemic. To make up for the lost income, he started a Patreon, and sold handwritten lyrics.

I jumped at the chance to give back to a performer whose music has given me so much, and to have a unique, original souvenir of lyrics that are often in my head.

It was hard to decide what to have written, but I settled on a snippet of Rattlesnakes:

She says a girl needs a gun these days

Hey, on account of all the Rattlesnakes

She looks like Eva Marie Saint, in On the Waterfront

She reads Simone de Beauvoir

In her American circumstance

Like with a lot of lyrics and poetry, I can’t tell you exactly what these lines mean. I can tell you whenever I’m in a sticky situation, or confronted by a creep, I think of the metaphorical gun I need on account of all of the figurative rattlesnakes.

One of my favorite high school teachers showed us On the Waterfront in class because he had a crush on Eva Marie Saint, so that reference makes me smile.

I mean, can you blame him?

And while I confess I have never read de Beauvoir, I appreciate a man who has.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. Lloyd Cole’s been off the A list for a long time. I could get a grubby piece of paper crammed into an wrinkled envelope with my name misspelled, if I got anything at all.

But when the package arrived, I was thoroughly delighted.

The cardboard protecting the piece was secured with artist’s tape with a stylish grid pattern.

The lyrics were written on thick watercolor paper, with my name and a number on the back.

The package included a couple of bonus postcards, three clever ones that imagined his lyrics as pulp novel covers, and one of him from 1984 when he was young and dreamy and brooding that was autographed with a “Thanks, Lara” because he knows his fans are a lot of middle aged women like me who fell for him when we were teens and he was young and dreamy and brooding.

Music that mattered to me when music really mattered reminds me of who I was and who I am. I am so grateful to the talented people who have contributed to the soundtrack of my life (and the one that plays constantly in my mind)

The same week I got the lyrics, Cris took me out for a fancy birthday dinner, one of our last night’s out. I told him about the lyrics and he said, “That’s so cool. Maybe Lloyd Cole could be your next boyfriend. If you marry Lloyd Cole, I’ll come to the wedding.”

At the time I thought it was a sweet, sad sentiment. He knew he and I couldn’t/wouldn’t end up together, and he wanted me to be happy. I also thought it meant we’d always be friends and in each others lives in some way.

What I didn’t know was that he had been seeing someone for months, and the condition of continuing our friendship would be keeping it from her.

And what I also didn't know, was that in a few months, Lloyd Cole would play a minor role in one of the strangest encounters of my life.

To be continued…

Lara Sez…

Listen!

80s Deep Cut of the Week! Of course it’s gonna be Lloyd Cole! Perfect Skin is probably about as close to a hit as he got.

And here’s Rattlesnakes, the song I got the lyrics from:

Read!

If an author has the audacity to title their book The Plot it had better deliver, and Jean Hanff Korelitz absolutely does! It’s a smart page-turner and some good inside dish on the publishing biz.

Listen!

Maintenance Phase: Wellness and weight loss, debunked and decoded. A hilarious take-down of the diet and wellness industries.

Watch!

With the caveat I haven't read the book or seen the previous movies, I liked Ripley. It’s slow, moody, creepy, and gorgeously shot.

Eat!

I put leftover Trader Joe’s mushroom risotto in the waffle maker and I highly recommend you do too! The stuff isn’t that good as-is, but when it’s crisped up in the waffle maker it’s delicious!

Before I let you go…

If you’re not a Lloyd Cole fan by now, you might be after you watch this, him dissing every pop song on Juke Box Jury. I’ve got a soft spot for pretentious curmudgeons.