It's Kind of a Long Story... about JON HAMM!
My first story is a really, really good one.
I’ve been told that I’m a good writer. That my writing is enjoyed. That I should write a book.
I’m proud and grateful that my writing resonates, but I don’t think that I have a book in me. At least not yet.
My main medium up until now has been short-form personal essays in the form of long-form Facebook posts.
I like the immediate gratification. The instant interaction. I’ve come to realize that my goal isn’t to be published, it’s to be read.
So I’m taking my act to Substack. To put structure, a regular practice and accountability to my writing. To see where this form takes me. And hopefully create something valuable enough for readers to pay for.
It’s a place where my long stories can be as long as they need to be.
What I want to do here is get my stories up, out, and down. To write about things I’m thinking about and going through that you may be too.
And I want to have fun. To recommend books, bands, TV shows, podcasts, movies and other things that I’m digging.
I want to ask for an offer advice. Other people’s problems are so much easier to solve.
I’m thinking of it almost like a magazine with a main story and lots of other fun features.
And I can think of no better way to kick it off than with…
The Jon Hamm Story II
Short version:
I bought a ticket to a private screening of “Bridesmaids” hosted by Jon Hamm that was a fundraiser for voter registration and getting out the vote in Texas and Georgia. It was amazing.
Long version:
My long-term shall we say, “interest” in Jon Hamm is well established (and don’t think I didn’t hear you say “obsession”) and while of course is not not because he is so damn handsome, but he’s more than just a pretty face. He’s smart, funny, witty, charming, and makes so many interesting choices in his career and is so talented. I find him fascinating as well as easy on the eyes.
My history with him is kind of long too. Followers and friends from 10 years ago will remember the original Jon Hamm story. It’s a long one and good one and as close as I ever thought I would ever get to him (approx 10 feet)
Since then, I’ve had a couple of close encounters. A friend of mine was a set decorator on Mad Men. When I gave him a tour of Chronicle Books, he brought me the coffee mug and pen show runner Matthew Weiner had made to welcome the cast and crew back for the final season. My pal returned the favor and arranged a tour the set during their last week of production. While there was no filming going on, I got to literally walk around Don Draper’s apartment - and all of the other sets - and see Jon Hamm’s director’s chair in the lounge area. It was one of the Top 10 coolest things I have ever done. The level of detail was mind-blowing.
I also saw him perform in two different events at Sketch Fest. He was absolutely hilarious and so at-ease and comfortable on a funky little stage in the Mission. The first was a podcast interview. The second was an improv show. He’d tell a story from his childhood, and then improv actors riffed on it in a sketch. It was so damn funny, and he sat on the side of the stage criss-cross applesauce while watching the actors. So causal. So generous to his fellow actors. It was clear he was having a blast.
About a month ago, my friend Susan texted me a link to an event: “Stars in the Backyard: An Evening with Jon Ham hosting an intimate outdoor screening of Bridesmaids” in Los Angeles.
I clicked, thinking it would be super expensive, but it wasn’t. It was $250 and the money would go to a good cause. Without thinking about it too much, I bought a ticket.
Anyone who knows me knows I don’t part with $250 easily, but if you hang out with me for more than 15 minutes, I’m likely to mention either Jon Hamm or You Need a Budget (or both)
It’s because of the YNAB app that I was able to swing spending what is for me a lot of money. I pulled a little from several categories: Giving, Fun Stuff, Travel, Little Luxuries and Things I Forgot to Budget For. The cost was easily covered without making too much of a dent in any of them.
I was able to swing it emotionally because it’s been a very challenging time and I needed fun. I needed adventure. I needed a good thing to happen. I needed something to look forward to. Just the day before a friend had told me to be spontaneous. I’ll give you spontaneous! I’m going to drop $250 clams and jump in the car for a 6+ hour drive to (maybe) meet a movie star.
Because I really had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I didn’t know what to expect. Would it be stuffy and fancy? Would there be a lot of haughty Hollywood hotshots? A gaggle of annoying influencers? Would I feel shunted off to a corner with the nobodies? Would Hamm show up for 10 minutes and leave? Would photos and videos be allowed?
Because I am super superstitious, I didn’t want to jinx it by telling anybody. There were a million things that could go gone wrong and I couldn’t bear telling everyone that it didn’t happen, or if it didn’t pan out the way I hoped. I uncharacteristically kept it to myself. I haven’t fully processed why I really wanted this to be a solo experience, but it was fun to keep a secret.
I struggled with how to go about it logistically. Fly? Drive? Stay with friends or family? I went back and forth. I made a spreadsheet with various scenarios. Ultimately I decided driving and a cheap Airbnb was the way to go. It gave me more control. No cancelled flights. And if for some reason I didn’t end up going, no harm, no foul
.
I left early on Sunday morning. The drive was a breeze, but there was some rain and the clouds appeared to be following me. The weather report didn’t predict rain in LA, but it made me nervous. Would we be rained out?
The Airbnb in Burbank was adorable and close to Porto’s, where I happily waited in line for a snack, and the $.99 Store which is no longer $.99 and isn’t fun crappy, it’s just crappy crappy. I bought a nail file and some gum and was bummed.
The event was in the Los Feliz neighborhood, which is one I have a lot of affection for. It’s where my grandparents’ house was, and where Griffith Park is. I spent a lot of time at both places as a kid. Holidays and overnights with my grandparents, and pony rides, the zoo and carousel at the park. That Jon Hamm lives in this ‘hood was another thing that endeared him to me. As far as rich, fancy LA neighborhoods go, it’s got more charm and soul than Beverly Hills, and is less stuffy than Hancock Park. (my G’ma’s house was lovely, but she didn’t life on the rich, fancy side of Los Feliz Boulevard)
The event was at the home of actor Jim Turner, who has hosted a series of backyard screenings over the last couple of years to benefit The Good Deed Corps. The previous guests including Jack Black, Sandra Oh, Laurie Metcalf, and Jon Cryer, where all people he knew through the biz. Jon Hamm was a stroke of luck.
While I was waiting to get in, I overheard Jim telling his friends how he got Jon Hamm to do the event. He and his wife were at a local restaurant, and he said to her, “Hey! That’s Jon Hamm!” She said, “Oh no. Don’t.” He did. Jim went up to Jon and introduced himself and told him about the events and asked if he would be interested in hosting one. He said he would and when Jim asked how he could get a hold of him, Jon gave just gave him his email right then and there. Jim emailed him the information and details the next day, and within 20 minutes Jon replied and it was done!
The entrance to the house was decorated in pink “Bridesmaids” decorations.
There were volunteers in replicas of the Bridesmaid’s dresses walking around selling raffle tickets.
There was a taco station, open bar with wine and Old Fashionds, and a popcorn machine. Also somewhat inexplicably, a basket of Rice Krispies treats. I wasn’t complaining, I love ‘em, but they seemed like a random afterthought or something someone brought.
I was able to score the best non-reserved seat in the house! Third row center! Being solo was a plus because there was a middle seat in a row of five that I easily snagged with my coat. Also I was super early. The third person there! I wasn’t gonna miss a minute.
I can’t say enough about how friendly, warm, and welcoming the vibe was. The guests were all 40+ and casual. People said hello and introduced themselves. There were no major age differences among the couples. It felt like being at a friend’s backyard party.
After I claimed my territory, I chatted with a fellow named Steve who is running for Assembly. He’s a former actor and addict, sound-studio owner, composer and husband of the actress who played Bobbi Barrett on Mad Men. He was there on his own and we chatted for quite a bit. I told him about Solidarity Sundays and the other political stuff I do, but I admitted that I was really there to see Jon Hamm. I gave him a quick version of the times I’d gotten close to meeting him, but that I knew I wasn’t a stalker because “There was a time when I was in New York and he was on The Today Show just a few blocks away and I didn’t go down there and press my face against the glass.”
I excused myself to go get some tacos. When I turned around, Hamm was in the house!
He just walked into the backyard with no fanfare, looking like a normal guy. An abnormally handsome normal guy. He came right up to a couple he knew and started chatting with them at a cocktail table.
I saw my new friend Steve join them and Jon greeted him warmly. This was my in!
There was this gap between Steve and Jon right in front of me that I could see myself sliding into. When he took out his phone and was showing pictures of the U2 show at the new Sphere arena in Las Vegas, I sort of sidled up to the table and looked at them too like I was part of their group. I don’t know where I got the audacity, but I’m sure I got it on sale with a coupon.
And I never, ever would do anything like this in the real world. I have had a lot of celebrity sightings and always respect their privacy on their personal time. But this was business.
Steve caught my eye and whispered to me, “Remind me of your name again?” and I told him and he said, “Jon, I’d like to introduce you to Lara. She’s an amazing activist.”
Steve did me a solid! Vote for Steve!
And John said, “Nice to meet you!” and shook my hand and I thanked him for being there and supporting voting rights and, “I work in children’s publishing and I also want to thank you for your fantastic reading of The Good Egg.” He said, “Oh yeah! Jennifer Garner’s thing!.” I told him I caught the “Greg the Egg” reference from Succession he made during the reading, and he politely thanked me, but I could tell he didn’t remember/had no idea what I was talking about.
I asked if we could take a picture and he said “Absolutely!” and Steve took it and Jon Hamm not only put his arm around me he no lie CARESSED (CARESSED!) my shoulder while he did it. I’m never washing that shoulder again.
And then he says, “Do you have a card? My wife and I have an idea for a children’s book we’ve been kicking around.”
I. DID. NOT. EXPECT. THAT.
I was dying. That is exactly what people who work in publishing dread people saying to them at a party. It happens all the time and the book ideas are never any good.
I asked him what his idea was but to be honest, I was so taken back by being in this backyard with Jon Hamm pitching me a picture book that I didn’t quite catch it all. It’s something about a dog who lives on an island where the Hamms like to vacation and how that dog imagines the lives of the people who visit his island, like a race car driver or an artist, and what life could be beyond the island. Or something. He ends with a laugh, “I’ll send you the proposal. It’ll all be in there.”
JON. HAMM. IS. PITCHING. ME. A. PICTURE. BOOK.
Of course I didn’t have a card and I don’t technically work anywhere right now, but I managed to scribble my name and email on a post-it with “Children’s Publishing” and “Send Proposal” and hand it to him. And damn if he didn’t take it, look me straight in the eye, thank me and put it in his wallet.
He turned to meet and greet more guests, and I stayed at the table with the couple he had first walked up to. He turned out to be director Aaron Lipstadt, who directed Jon on “The Division” and she’s a retired visual effects artist.
I saw Jon greet a pretty blond woman and something they said made me think they’d worked together, and she did look familiar. I saw her standing alone and went up to her and said, “You look so familiar.” At first she just said, “I’m Stephanie” and when that didn’t register she said, “Did you watch Mad Men?” I answered, “Only obsessively” and she said she played Meredith, the secretary. That was it!
We chatted for a bit and I asked her if she was currently working on and she smiled and said, “Do you mean am I still acting?” I replied, “Gawd! Is Is that something you shouldn’t ask someone in the entertainment industry? I just asked a director what he’d done that I might have seen. That was probably rude too.” She laughed and said she was focused on her two year old son these days, but still worked a bit. We talked about sons and only children and I told her, “Don’t let them scare you. My son wasn’t a terrible two. He was a great teen. They don’t have to be awful.” And I know she’s an actress but it really seemed genuine when she grabbed my arm and said, “Thank you! Thank you so much for saying that.”
Then the show starts and Jim introduces the founders of the Good Deeds Corps, one of whom, Rebecca Ninburg, is a former LA City Fire Commissioner and founder and former CEO of the LA Derby Dolls also known as “Demolicious.” LA is so LA.
Jon Hamm helped pick the raffle winners and introduced the movie. He said it was the only one of his films that everyone likes, and talked about the importance of voting and community.
The movie is as funny as I remembered. My favorite part is when she’s drunk on the plane and calls the flight attendant “Stove” instead of “Steve.” But, I really, really, really hate the food poisoning scene in the bridal shop. I looked down the whole time it was on.
After the movie, they auctioned off an opportunity to come up to the front and have two guests who were singers sing “Hold On” by Wilson Philips (the closing song of the movie) while Jon Hamm holds onto you. It was kind of a high-concept prize and it took some explaining. Even the opening $1,000 bidder said, “I don’t quite understand what I’m bidding on, but It’s for a good cause.” Jon was the auctioneer and it eventually went for $2,500.
Then Jon stayed for almost an hour answering audience questions. He was so quick and funny and charming and smart and damn, I still think we’d be friends. He invited “Meredith” to join him up at the front and when someone asked, “When I saw Don Draper, I saw my dad. I was a kid in that era. How did you manage to completely embody a man from a different era?” Jon handed her the mic and said, “Do you want to take this?” and without skipping a beat she said, “He’s a really good actor.”
And yes, I asked a question. I’d told him I’d seen him at Sketch Fest and he was hilarious, and if stand-up or some kind of on-stage comedy performing was in his future. He said no. Stand-up wasn’t what he wanted to do. He likes being “comedy adjacent” and bringing what he can to what other people create. He doesn’t want to “create comedy.”
Which was interesting, because he said he came up with 90% of his lines in the film, he proudly said, “Fuck buddy? That was me. Dingus? That was me.”
Jim, our host, came up to the front with his phone and said he had a question texted in from Christina Hendricks, who was in Paris at Fashion Week. I knew she was at fashion week because I follow her on Instagram. I follow her on Instagram because a couple of weeks ago I got an impulse to tell her that she inspired my annual Caftans & Casseroles party.
I stalked her Instagram and found a post where she promoted her BFF’s jewelry on Etsy.
I sent the BFF a message on Etsy telling her about my C&C tradition and how meaningful the one this year was. I asked - with the acknowledgement that it was a lot of chutzpah for me to do - if she’d pass the message on to Christina and she did! Not only that, this BFF is one of Christina’s original C&C crew and they still do it!
After the Q&A, Jon went into the house to sign the items that folks had won in the auction and raffle, including puppy notes! In Bridesmaids, the party favor at the bridal shower is a puppy with a note around its neck. For a $100 donation, you could get one of the 6 stuffie puppies and Jon would write you a note in the envelope around its neck.
People were leaving so I thanked the hosts, and gathered my things to leave. When I got to the top of the driveway I decided it would be a good idea to use the bathroom before I did.
There was one bathroom for the guests that was accessible from a small alcove that led to the house. When I got there, who was in the alcove by himself waiting for the bathroom? Jon Hamm, that’s who!
He smiled at me and we chatted a bit. I thanked him again for being there and said what a special night it was. I congratulated him on his recent wedding (don’t think THAT didn’t sting!) and said, “It was so great of you to come and stay so long. You have had a busy week.” Which I knew I’d seen that he had been at the New York Symphony earlier in the week. When I saw that I’d thought, “What are you doing in New York? We have a date on Sunday! Get back to LA!”
He said, “Yeah, I have been in four cities this week” and just then one of the hosts tapped him on the shoulder and said she’s found a bathroom for him in the house. He waved and said good night.
The bathroom was all mine, and decorated with clown art and was weird and hilarious. There’s also an autographed photo of Ellen DeGeneres, because LA.
On my way out I stole/saved from recycling the event poster from the bathroom door as a souvenir.
I could not have asked for a better experience. It was more than I could have imagined. Even the weather was perfect. They say you should never meet your heroes, but in this case they are wrong. Hamm delivered.
It was the culmination of a fun 16-year fandom (Mad Men premiered on July 19, 2007) One that is tied up with a lot of memories. John and I watched Mad Men together. Max was with us in the audience on The Nerdist. I associate a lot of other people and places with the show. Jon Hamm means a lot to me for reasons that have nothing to do with that handsome mug of his.
There have been one or two other things that have gone well this week, which is daring me to think that my luck is changing. That the work I’ve done is paying off.
I’ve struggled in the last year with belonging. I know I’m very social and have a lot of friends and I am very proud of and grateful for that. And there are many times when I look around at them and how beautiful and accomplished they are and how much more they have than I do and I feel like the poor kid. An impostor. Who let me in here? They will figure it out and tell me to leave.
This night? None of that. I felt at home and at ease and equal to everyone there. I walked up to strangers and introduced myself and had a ball. No nerves. No discomfort. No feeling out of place. I guess that’s what happens when you pay $250 for a ticket. It’s also what happens after a good long time to relax, reflect and recharge.
I mean I know I’m cute and all, but this guy is way out of my league.
This guy? We totally look like we could be together.
If it wasn’t for this… sigh…
And, if Jon does email me his book proposal, there will be a Hamm Story Part III.
Fun Features:
Listen!
80s deep cut of the week! This was a true one "not-quite-a-hit” wonder.
Read!
One of the best books I’ve read this year.
Buy!
This $10 car trash can changed my life!
Watch!
I don’t know why this show didn’t get more buzz. I loved it.
What a hilarious story, Lara! I had no idea about your Hamm-cination, but totally get that this would only intensify that. Did that book proposal ever arrive?