Great post!!! This resonated with me on so many levels. I have always had a dog. I struggled with infertility as well as being a single mom. The world just looks at you different as a single mom who adopts. I look at my pets as my companions not as my kids. The term fur baby annoys me. They are not my children. They are my responsibility, I care for them and love them but not my kids. They are my best buddies. They are very much part of the family. Having a child, raising a child, different. I always wanted to be a mother and a totally different journey. Although adopting my last dog had more paperwork and home visits than adopting my daughter. Keep telling your stories!!!
Thank you so much for reading, your kind words, and perspective as an adoptive mama and pet companion. And ha! I have had many people tell me pets cost more in food, medical bills, etc than babies. Not surprised that's true of paperwork too.
Lara, as a 59 year old dog owner and not a mother, I truly appreciate your post, even though it's a re-run--I haven't read it before. This mother's day I avoided my mother in law --I was angry at her for not showing up for my husband. I've had many tough mothers days, both my older sisters are mothers and we lost our mother when I was seventeen. I got married at 46, to a childman and I never wanted children until I was too old to have one. I probably was not meant to be a mother, and I'm grateful I never had to make a choice. All that said, when my oldest sister texted me "happy dog mom's day" the other day, it made me happy in a silly way. I appreciated your thoughts and also how pain has helped you grow. Pain helps me grow too.
Thank you so much for reading and your kind words. I think the bottom line is we should respect and support each other's choices and paths, not compare or equate them. I'm so glad your sister made you happy on Mother's Day <3
The dog mom/dog parent/fur baby thing has always bugged me too. I have a dog. She's 14 and sweet and my constant companion. I'll miss her terribly one day when she's gone. But she is not my child. I have three children I have raised mostly by myself. The two experiences are vastly different. I know I'm not better than someone who has not birthed or raised children. But I wish people wouldn't equate two things that ultimately have nothing to do with each other.
I am in my late 40s now, wanted children very badly but struggled with infertility much of my adult life... but I ALSO am a mom to my two VERY NEEDY French Bulldogs, who remain babies their entire lives and need a different type of care and attention than many other dog breeds... AND I think I choose this breed SO THAT I CAN FEEL like a MOTHER and nurture in some ways that I never got to experience with a human baby that I was never blessed with. I also realize how much more time and effort and needs a human baby would have... BUT I STILL consider myself a DOG MOM 😊
Being a childfree woman is the core topic of my mailing list, so reading your post was a bit like reading my own diary. I'm unmarried and currently I don't even care for a pet, so the "are you even a woman?" was quite the punch in the gut. Not your fault of course, it's just that when I was younger I used to ask myself if I had any worth at all as a person, and I was depressed about it not because I wanted children after all, but because I knew I was going to be considered less forever. Now I'm older and I shurg off society's expectations and judgment much more easily, but sometimes it can still be difficult. I had no idea that having pets could elevate my status, though. Since I plan to become a cat lady in my old age, there's hope for me as well :)
Lara, I really enjoyed the thoughtfulness of this post. I have often expressed similar feelings to my husband about the "fur baby" phenomenon, and your journey broadened my view. So thank you for sharing.
Great post!!! This resonated with me on so many levels. I have always had a dog. I struggled with infertility as well as being a single mom. The world just looks at you different as a single mom who adopts. I look at my pets as my companions not as my kids. The term fur baby annoys me. They are not my children. They are my responsibility, I care for them and love them but not my kids. They are my best buddies. They are very much part of the family. Having a child, raising a child, different. I always wanted to be a mother and a totally different journey. Although adopting my last dog had more paperwork and home visits than adopting my daughter. Keep telling your stories!!!
Thank you so much for reading, your kind words, and perspective as an adoptive mama and pet companion. And ha! I have had many people tell me pets cost more in food, medical bills, etc than babies. Not surprised that's true of paperwork too.
Lara, as a 59 year old dog owner and not a mother, I truly appreciate your post, even though it's a re-run--I haven't read it before. This mother's day I avoided my mother in law --I was angry at her for not showing up for my husband. I've had many tough mothers days, both my older sisters are mothers and we lost our mother when I was seventeen. I got married at 46, to a childman and I never wanted children until I was too old to have one. I probably was not meant to be a mother, and I'm grateful I never had to make a choice. All that said, when my oldest sister texted me "happy dog mom's day" the other day, it made me happy in a silly way. I appreciated your thoughts and also how pain has helped you grow. Pain helps me grow too.
Thank you so much for reading and your kind words. I think the bottom line is we should respect and support each other's choices and paths, not compare or equate them. I'm so glad your sister made you happy on Mother's Day <3
The dog mom/dog parent/fur baby thing has always bugged me too. I have a dog. She's 14 and sweet and my constant companion. I'll miss her terribly one day when she's gone. But she is not my child. I have three children I have raised mostly by myself. The two experiences are vastly different. I know I'm not better than someone who has not birthed or raised children. But I wish people wouldn't equate two things that ultimately have nothing to do with each other.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your perspective. Three kids and a dog? Largely on your own? I bow down before you, Queen! <3
I am in my late 40s now, wanted children very badly but struggled with infertility much of my adult life... but I ALSO am a mom to my two VERY NEEDY French Bulldogs, who remain babies their entire lives and need a different type of care and attention than many other dog breeds... AND I think I choose this breed SO THAT I CAN FEEL like a MOTHER and nurture in some ways that I never got to experience with a human baby that I was never blessed with. I also realize how much more time and effort and needs a human baby would have... BUT I STILL consider myself a DOG MOM 😊
Thank you so much for reading, sharing your perspective and taking such good care of your dogs <3
Your depth never ceases to amaze me! Very introspective, Lara. Loved it.
Thank you so much cousin/sister/friend <3
Being a childfree woman is the core topic of my mailing list, so reading your post was a bit like reading my own diary. I'm unmarried and currently I don't even care for a pet, so the "are you even a woman?" was quite the punch in the gut. Not your fault of course, it's just that when I was younger I used to ask myself if I had any worth at all as a person, and I was depressed about it not because I wanted children after all, but because I knew I was going to be considered less forever. Now I'm older and I shurg off society's expectations and judgment much more easily, but sometimes it can still be difficult. I had no idea that having pets could elevate my status, though. Since I plan to become a cat lady in my old age, there's hope for me as well :)
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your perspective <3 Three cheers for shrugging off expectations (such a gift of age) and cat ladies! <3
Goodness! What a hornets nest is stirred with Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day etc. I guess the silver lining in all this are the insights gleaned.
Almost as bad as Georgegate!
Lara, I really enjoyed the thoughtfulness of this post. I have often expressed similar feelings to my husband about the "fur baby" phenomenon, and your journey broadened my view. So thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for reading, your kind words, and pickin' up what I'm puttin' down <3