It was great to listen to you this morning. I'm always learning from you about advocating for myself without shame. These are wonderful podcasts and I enjoy them immensely.
Lara, I am so bothered that an HR person knew you would be in a car when they called you to let you go. That is just unacceptable. Unprofessional, disrespectful, unthoughtful, and borderline unethical if you ask me. And just so unnecessary. I really can’t get over it. And then that little “ and they don’t have to do that” comment is just the icing on the cake. Why do people in that situation – really meaning, in your situation – feel the need to say things like that? I am so sorry for that whole experience.
Oh and also, at least 2 of the 3 people I know who tried EMDR said that although it was working, it was also retraumatizing. One worked through it and ultimately appreciated it; the other had to stop but said she may go back to it later. I don’t know anything about it except these anecdotal experiences, but I always share them so people are forewarned.
Oh thank you for that intel re: EMDR, and your commiseration re: the HR person. It's truly mind-boggling how bad so many HR people are at human-ing. I often need to be reminded that their motivation is making money for the company and/or keeping them out of court. That's it.
I love your writing. I have read everything you write in “It’s Kind of A Long Story.” This post about THERAPY is by far my favorite. It is completely accurate. You have the acumen to quickly understand BAD therapy. I applaud you for standing up for yourself in each of these (horrible) situations. You are wise and intuitive.
Oy, those are some BAD therapists! I've a few some "meh" ones and one great one who probably ruined therapy with anyone else 😔 EMDR also did nothing for me (in person, with said very good therapist. We gave up). On another "note," every time you post an 80s deep cut its always a song/band I forgot I loved! This one is sooo good! Today's Spotify theme is now officially Heaven 17. Do you remember a cheesy 80s movie called Summer Lovers? Think that's how I discovered them (and maybe Depeche Mode, which is embarrassing)! Epic soundtrack...
I'm actually kind of glad to know EMDR didn't work for you. All I've heard is that it's AMAZING and I figured I was the one who wasn't doing it right. And hmm... I *vaguely* remember Summer Lovers and mostly remember the insipid "Hold me now, it's hard for me to say I'm sorry... " I'll have to check it out!
FWIW I have friends who say EMDR worked for them & who knows, I do feel better about the trauma(s) after doing it but there was so immediate relief or catharsis which I think is more typical. Also I felt weird doing it…! 🤷🏻♀️ ooh SKW IS a great soundtrack. Can’t go wrong with Hughes even though he’s “canceled.” That Sorry song is the worst on the album! 😝 One of my all time fave soundtracks is Something Wild!
Just here to say I've found that Kombucha at Dollar Tree (for $1.25, but still) if anyone has that by them as well! My motto: "you never know what you'll find at Dollar Tree!"
Lara,
It was great to listen to you this morning. I'm always learning from you about advocating for myself without shame. These are wonderful podcasts and I enjoy them immensely.
Oh Lynne thank you for your kind words! It means the world to me <3
Lara, I am so bothered that an HR person knew you would be in a car when they called you to let you go. That is just unacceptable. Unprofessional, disrespectful, unthoughtful, and borderline unethical if you ask me. And just so unnecessary. I really can’t get over it. And then that little “ and they don’t have to do that” comment is just the icing on the cake. Why do people in that situation – really meaning, in your situation – feel the need to say things like that? I am so sorry for that whole experience.
Oh and also, at least 2 of the 3 people I know who tried EMDR said that although it was working, it was also retraumatizing. One worked through it and ultimately appreciated it; the other had to stop but said she may go back to it later. I don’t know anything about it except these anecdotal experiences, but I always share them so people are forewarned.
Oh thank you for that intel re: EMDR, and your commiseration re: the HR person. It's truly mind-boggling how bad so many HR people are at human-ing. I often need to be reminded that their motivation is making money for the company and/or keeping them out of court. That's it.
Lara,
I love your writing. I have read everything you write in “It’s Kind of A Long Story.” This post about THERAPY is by far my favorite. It is completely accurate. You have the acumen to quickly understand BAD therapy. I applaud you for standing up for yourself in each of these (horrible) situations. You are wise and intuitive.
Oh Ailene thank you so much. For reading, your kind words, and validation that it's *not* me!
Xoxo - L
Oy, those are some BAD therapists! I've a few some "meh" ones and one great one who probably ruined therapy with anyone else 😔 EMDR also did nothing for me (in person, with said very good therapist. We gave up). On another "note," every time you post an 80s deep cut its always a song/band I forgot I loved! This one is sooo good! Today's Spotify theme is now officially Heaven 17. Do you remember a cheesy 80s movie called Summer Lovers? Think that's how I discovered them (and maybe Depeche Mode, which is embarrassing)! Epic soundtrack...
I'm actually kind of glad to know EMDR didn't work for you. All I've heard is that it's AMAZING and I figured I was the one who wasn't doing it right. And hmm... I *vaguely* remember Summer Lovers and mostly remember the insipid "Hold me now, it's hard for me to say I'm sorry... " I'll have to check it out!
My favorite movie soundtrack is Some Kind of Wonderful https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094006/soundtrack/
FWIW I have friends who say EMDR worked for them & who knows, I do feel better about the trauma(s) after doing it but there was so immediate relief or catharsis which I think is more typical. Also I felt weird doing it…! 🤷🏻♀️ ooh SKW IS a great soundtrack. Can’t go wrong with Hughes even though he’s “canceled.” That Sorry song is the worst on the album! 😝 One of my all time fave soundtracks is Something Wild!
Just here to say I've found that Kombucha at Dollar Tree (for $1.25, but still) if anyone has that by them as well! My motto: "you never know what you'll find at Dollar Tree!"
My motto as well! I love Dollar Tree 💲🌳❤️